Dear, dear Patricia. I am wishing you a Happy Mother's Day for yourself as well as for your two beautiful daughters. You have endured so much and have emerged a kind, loving and compassionate person. Although we would never choose it, a lot of what forms us is the pain we go through.
I remember asking my analyst, How can I forgive my mother? His reply which caused me to pause for quite a while, "When there is enough love".
Thank you so much for sharing this. Being so vulnerable and open is never easy, but it's important for healing (and I think it helps other people heal, too, to see they're not alone if they experienced something even remotely similar).
When I get to rule the world (don't hold your breath!) you'll need a licence to have kids. I'm fairly certain that neither your parents nor mine would qualify for one! (But then there wouldn't be us...)
Ah yes Marina. We are survivors for sure! And I like the idea of your being the ruler of the world! It would definitely be an improvement on anything we have now!
Wow I just wanted to send love. My mom although still with us is so unreachable she lives on bitterness and anger and I went through the stage of grieving for her for the mother I should have had . Now I just try to hold her hand through her darkness best I can whilst still keeping her at arms length so her darkness doesn't seep into my world xx
Thanks for sharing this vulnerable and fascinating story. I empathize for all you've been through and I'm inspired by who you are - and how you alchemized all of this! Adore you and respect you all the more!
Thanks Karen. That was the short version. But it's only with some distance I can really see how difficult it was for me to navigate those years from 0 to 20! As I sometimes say: You have a childhood. Then you spend the rest of your life getting over it.
Belated Happy Mother’s Day to you, Patricia, and to all the mothers and grandmothers in this Substack.
Patricia, thank you for sharing the story of your mother and your family. Understanding the circumstances she grew up in may bring you peace, and help you remember her with love and compassion. 🙏♥ 🙏
Man Patricia, that is quite a story. Both parents sound unbelievable. You are pretty amazing to have survived such insanity.
Well as some might say, little wonder I became a psychotherapist! Thanks for reading Mary. Happy Mother's Day!
Dear, dear Patricia. I am wishing you a Happy Mother's Day for yourself as well as for your two beautiful daughters. You have endured so much and have emerged a kind, loving and compassionate person. Although we would never choose it, a lot of what forms us is the pain we go through.
I remember asking my analyst, How can I forgive my mother? His reply which caused me to pause for quite a while, "When there is enough love".
Wow. So hard. I send big virtual hugs, and all the joy and love you deserve, every day.
Thanks Erika. Happy Mother's Day to you!
I’ve known snatches of this from your other writing but as a piece, it’s powerful and so sad. I applaud your wisdom and strength.
My dear friend…a bittersweet day for me, but I am indeed one lucky mom myself! And a Happy Mother's Day to you!
Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing this. Being so vulnerable and open is never easy, but it's important for healing (and I think it helps other people heal, too, to see they're not alone if they experienced something even remotely similar).
Thanks so much for your comment and for reading Robyn!
When I get to rule the world (don't hold your breath!) you'll need a licence to have kids. I'm fairly certain that neither your parents nor mine would qualify for one! (But then there wouldn't be us...)
Ah yes Marina. We are survivors for sure! And I like the idea of your being the ruler of the world! It would definitely be an improvement on anything we have now!
Wow I just wanted to send love. My mom although still with us is so unreachable she lives on bitterness and anger and I went through the stage of grieving for her for the mother I should have had . Now I just try to hold her hand through her darkness best I can whilst still keeping her at arms length so her darkness doesn't seep into my world xx
So hard, isn't it? I hope you have good support elsewhere.
Thanks for sharing this vulnerable and fascinating story. I empathize for all you've been through and I'm inspired by who you are - and how you alchemized all of this! Adore you and respect you all the more!
Thanks Karen. That was the short version. But it's only with some distance I can really see how difficult it was for me to navigate those years from 0 to 20! As I sometimes say: You have a childhood. Then you spend the rest of your life getting over it.
Belated Happy Mother’s Day to you, Patricia, and to all the mothers and grandmothers in this Substack.
Patricia, thank you for sharing the story of your mother and your family. Understanding the circumstances she grew up in may bring you peace, and help you remember her with love and compassion. 🙏♥ 🙏
I'm working on it. At least I'm in neutral which is an improvement on the simmering rage I felt for so much of my life!